THINKING BACK AND I WON'T GO BACK...

About 8 months ago I kept making excuses about why I shouldn't take care of myself..."it is too hard"  "I don't have time"  and the big one "it costs too much."
But then I saw a pic of myself and wanted to cry.  I was embarrassed and disgusted with myself...why did I let myself get like this?  I was so damn stubborn that I could not and would not see what I was doing to myself.

Then in September of last year I FINALLY decided to take that first step and I am so very thankful I did.
YES...I was worried about the cost BUT I looked through our budget and saved up and took that first step and I will NEVER go back!  How I feel now compared to how I felt then is a BIG DIFFERENCE.
Has it been hard?...YES!  Have I wanted to give up?...YES!  Do I have bad days?...YES!  BUT I REMEMBER WHY I STARTED AND HOW FAR I HAVE COME.  
The feeling of being able to look in the mirror and smile is so huge!  Knowing that I am taking care of ME is the best UNSELFISH thing I can do!
This journey has been filled with triumphs and trials BUT I refuse to go back and be the person I once was!
WE ARE ALL ON A JOURNEY....WHERE IS YOURS TAKING YOU?

CHOICES...WHICH ONE?

I have good days and bad days...we all do BUT what we choose to do makes the difference.

I have not been as consistent with my workouts and eating as I need to be and I have two choices...
1.  Get back up and keep going
2.  Listen to those thoughts in my head and quit

What do I choose?

 * The first one will take determination and getting off my butt and continue to do what I started.
*The second one would be easier BUT not better for me in the long run.

So...my choice is THE FIRST ONE!

 I have to ask myself...WHY would I want to stop when I have come so far?  WHY would I want to stop when I feel so much better?  WHY would I want to stop when I can help others?  WHY would I want to stop believing in myself?  WHY would I want to go back to those days of looking in the mirror and hating what I saw?

I NEED to remember WHY I started and how good I feel about myself.  I NEED to remember how far I have come NOT how far I have to go.  I NEED to remember that feeling of accomplishment.  I NEED to remember that every day is NOT going to be perfect.  I NEED to remember that I choose whether I will or won't.  I NEED to remember that I WILL reach my goal.   I NEED TO REMEMBER THAT I AM DOING THIS FOR ME!!!!!!

EXCUSES....DON'T SABOTAGE YOURSELF!

Well....this first few weeks went by pretty well then I got into my own head and starting making excuses.

I kept thinking..."I don't have time"..."I am too tired"..."there are other things that are more important"..."I will do it tomorrow"..."It's too late now"....etc.

What I was doing was sabotaging myself into NOT doing what I knew I needed to do.  I starting falling back into the old me and wanting to give up because it was taking too long.

But then I looked at my before and after pic and KNEW that I could not and would not give up on my journey.  Why did I want to stop myself from doing something that helped me in so many ways?

I KNEW that the only one stopping me was me!  I had to dig deep and keep going because going back to the way I was was NOT an option!

Even though the excuses and negative thoughts kept coming back I had to CONTINUE to believe in myself and keep going!   NEVER LOOK BACK!

More to come...

LET THE JOURNEY BEGIN...

The day I started my weight loss journey on 9/15/14 I was so scared and worried that I would fail again.  But I was determined to try and do it the right way....none of the quick fixes I tried made me feel proud of myself and always left me searching for something more.

The first day was hard....I was so sore and automatically started thinking of quicker easier ways to do this but I knew I needed a change and needed to do the work. I had had enough of starting over and over again.

As the days went by...the soreness left and I started feeling stronger and I could see and feel the results....I was finally smiling and proud of myself.  It was an amazing feeling knowing "I" was doing this and the hard work and consistency were paying off.  

I was not only changing on the outside but on the inside too.  I used to hate looking in the mirror and going out in public because I was embarrassed and ashamed of how I looked.  But now I can walk down the street and know I am making an amazing change in my life.

I am believing in myself and loving myself again.  Something I haven't done in years....I am not only smiling on the outside but on the inside too.  What a blessing!

Here is my before pic...

And the journey continues....